Dusk - 55 Fiction #1


55 Fiction is a form of microfiction that renders a work of fiction within a word limit of 55 words. It is a contemporary form of expression which is greatly thriving among the neoteric writers. This is my first attempt and I hope it is worth a glance!  

“He was perched on the rocks awaiting her return. He reckoned, anything hurled at the ocean, returns with the waves. At twilight, his sleep perturbed, he had gaped from the porch, as his mother tread into the ocean. It was dusk, he still awaited her return. Alas! The waves couldn’t revert her.”

PS: This is about the bewilderment of a naïve and juvenile mind at being unable to decipher the complexities of life and innocence with which it deals with the atrocities of life.

14 Opinions:

Karthik said...

Hey this is amazing. Liked it a lot. Though I've written a few 55-fictions myself, I'm not a great fan of this genre.
Just one thing though. Don't try to explain it as you've done in post script. Let it hang in the air. Just an opinion. :)

The West Wind said...

Thanks.. This is my first try so I kind of thought maybe its a good idea to explain a bit.. but I think I will stuck to your advice :D

Tanmaya said...

the innocence you wanted to convey was put through well.... ya karthik is right...

etymofreak said...

Good first attempt :)

dilontherocks said...

Thats a good one. I liked the way you explained it too. Gave the fiction a new angle..

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nil said...

Hi there,I happened to cross your blog,and I'm glad I did. This was an excellent attempt,and absolutely visually dynamic. Loved it. You should really keep writing :)

buckingfastard said...

new kinda 55 fiction...no abrupt twist...jst potrayal of emotions

The West Wind said...

Thanks everyone :)
@Nil: Welcome!!

bondgal_rulz said...

Real good first attempt. Very refreshing. :)

Cheers

The West Wind said...

Thanks :)

dattaabhishek said...

Interesting one. The pain is quite evident through those lines. Looking forward to more 55s from you.

anubhavb said...

Touching and painful.

Amazing.

The West Wind said...

@dattaabhishek: Thank u.. and sorry for the late reply. I have come up with a couple of more 55ers. I hope u like them too..

@Anubhav: Thank u again :D

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