When Love Is Not Enough

Trans-continental love is not easy. It has its own set of problems. Two determined, ardent and crazy-in-love people can battle them almost every time. But then there comes a time when you strongly consider tossing all the we-can-totally-do-this and its-absolutely-worth-it right out of the window. At one point, it is difficult to even determine who or what you are mad at more. Is it him, for having better things to do than be bound to an electronic device. Or maybe the different time zones are what drive you crazy. You could curse the mo**** f***ing cellphone and wi-fi networks to your heart’s fill. Or you could be enraged at yourself for being so needy. For not being able to be one of those people, who are happy and content all by themselves. The blurred line between being pissed off at something rational and an absolutely unjustified outrage becomes even more fuzzy.
You grovel in self-pity, find a million faults in yourself, re-evaluate your life decisions and drink wine in your bed while watching the zillionth re-run of Friends. You stare blankly at pictures from the past, seeking peace and gratification in that blissful smile you have on in that picture. You contemplate if it is your indiscretion for wishing that your person could actually be your-person, even if you are a thousand kilometers apart. If you should be blamed for wanting to be a part of their world and make them a part of yours. And you ponder.. what do you do when you need his benevolent eyes to know that you are stressed without even saying a word, his affable ear for your ramblings after a tough day at work or his soothing voice to calm your nerves. Or maybe you just need him to say how much he loves you.. one more time.
You wonder what do you do when you feel that love is not enough… When you need more than the satisfaction of having a transcendent and exemplary love waiting for you at the other end of the world.
Well.. you let it go. No.. not in that clich├ęd way where you let your love go and wait for it to come back to you. But you quit trying so hard. You sit back, give your phone a rest, and replay in your head all those amazing memories you made last time you took a trip together. Those memories, every little fun episode and every charming thing he ever did for you all come handy on a rainy day like this. And you realize how petty and insignificant the need of the moment was. Your frowns turn into half smiles in a fraction of a second. Your brain starts producing the same chemical cocktail, which fueled the I-can’t-take-my-hands-off-you phase. Then you miss him so much that you do something incredibly sweet for him, without expecting anything in return. And trust me.. this will be the moment, (provided if you are with the right person), when he will do an adorable small gesture, (or a big one, adorable nevertheless) which will seem unexpected and touch your heart in a way, like nothing before has.
Do this.. not because you have to, but because you both deserve it.. because you don’t quit at every little glitch on your way.. because these bitter sweet moments confer a unique hue to your relationship and make it a journey worth having.. and because it will help you revisit every milestone in your relationship.. Even though you are each other’s person and try your best to share your worlds with each other, there is still a large part of your lives which will always be only theoretical for your better half. And that makes it a challenge to not only survive but also wield the lesser-known perks of the situation. Trans-continental love is not easy. But it makes you stronger, consolidates the trust between you and makes you want each other even more. That first kiss.. when you run into each other’s arms at the airport is absolutely worth it. And you should do this.. because everyone has their on and off days and on some days, you are in his shoes and then you would want him to bear with you.


To celebrate Women’s Day this year, I thought of writing about something which is vital and constitutive for life, development and gratification of men and women alike, but women more so, considering the prejudiced society we come from. 
Freedom .. a rather simple concept, but with numerous interpretations and limitations.
For Malala Yousafzai, it is a shot at education. For Nelson Mandela, it was self-respect and equality. For millions of people it is the right to be with the people they love. For thousands of girl children across India, it is simply an opportunity to live.
Fortunately for me, these were not the things I had to strive for. But as an average girl from a conservative society, with unorthodox dreams, I do not underestimate the significance of freedom.
For me, freedom is not  just my right or a mere concept anymore. It is personified.. My husband is freedom personified to me. I was born free. But my greatest fear in life was, that someone or something,  will put shackles on me. He has granted me freedom from that fear.  
He has given me wings to fly.. and at the same time, equipped me with a parachute, in case I get tired or my wings break. He has granted me the freedom to chase my dreams… also to waver when I am unsure… and then to steady myself again.. or just dream a new dream and start the chase all over again. He has given me the flexibility to go where I want and do what I want, the immunity to screw up and the ability to fix it. He has liberated me from the fetters of this judgmental society, the manacles of female stereotypes and remodeled my obligations into choices.
He has allowed me the freedom to be me, which is one of the greatest of its kind. And he has done so with unadulterated love, support and consideration.. without any signs of indignation, cynicism or disrespect.

This has earned him not only my love and respect but also immense appreciation and admiration. I hope every woman has a man like him in her life..  and every man becomes a man like him.