The Walk Of Shame

One fine evening, Lisa met her ‘prince’.

Honest expression of love, was his evince.

He descended at her door-step, like a divine sign.

In his black shiny car,

With chocolates, flowers and wine.

Extravaganza at it’s best.

Alluring eyes, charming smile,

One-of-a-kind conquest.

Food, violins and a velvet casket.

Embellished with a brimming pocket.

A common friend had set them up.

It was just a first date, she better buckle-up.

Blind date, she thought ‘O, What The Hell’

You never know,

It might just cast the spell.

She reckoned he too shared her zeal.

Thus when it was time to

Kiss goodbye or seal the deal,

‘The rules of the game’ were put on amend.

As the eventful evening came to an end.

One fine evening, Lisa met her ‘prince’.

Next morning,

 He wrecked and savagely frayed her heart,

At her inanity, she could only curse and wince,

Gather her clothes and head towards the start.

Smeared mascara and ruffled hair.

The ‘prince’ missed in his manly flare,

While she let herself out with a delusive smile.

A little drop of tear in the corner of her eye.

As she walked home in that dreary morning light,

She thought to herself, on her morbid plight,

‘I sought Love, oh I am so lame’

‘My name will go down the fool’s hall of fame’

‘Love is nothing but a deceitful name’

‘And I suck at this pathetic game’

‘Thus here I am, walking

The Walk of Shame.’

Image Courtesy: Deviant Art & The Shadow Girl

Impulsive??.. Or Insane??

Have you ever felt an impulsive force throbbing through your veins, a force that harbors the power to make you do anything? Have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff and felt fear being overtaken by a rush of adrenalin, a rush that makes you want to jump off just to feel the wind hiss in your ears? Have you ever driven your bike so fast that you could see nothing at all but a whirl of blur all around you, and watery-eyed you gloat at your luck?

Today, just leaning on my mundane office desk or laying on my morose bed, I feel something akin. There is a constitutively active smirk on my face and a self-threatening menace in my eyes. There is not a single adjective in the English dictionary that can describe how I exactly feel ‘just about now’.  Lately my mood and state of mind have been as unpredictable and varied as the American weather (so that explains the just-about-now comment).

I feel like a soldier to going to his first battle, or a young bird dashing for its first flight, or when the first time you ride your bicycle all by yourself. I know I am gonna crash into the ground any minute and send mud soaring at your faces (my pretty onlookers :P), but I don’t give a rat’s a**. So for now, I have braced myself and I am soaring high.. yes high above the clouds (and no I am not high on anything :P)

All I care about right now, is my flight. And it is like I have set off a time bomb in my head, which keeps on ticking endlessly. I have unharnessed an eternal wait. A wait at the end of which I silently smile to myself, but then post-smile, the wait starts yet again. Not the anxious wait, but a bittersweet sensation in my gut. Like when you wake up in the morning few minutes before you should, and lay in your bed, eyes closed, hearing the soft rhythm of the ticking clock and waiting for the alarm to shatter the halcyon morning lull. And yeah.. I feel baby butterflies forming in my stomach every now and then.

Refreshing web-pages a thousand times in a minute, checking emails every minute, attacking the keyboard to ramble on about random stuff like this and chewing my pen to its death.. What’s up with the world? Is it just me.. or is the whole world spinning out of control? Am I just being impulsive or am I insane..?

And yeah.. I AM actually pretty high on the song ‘Jiye Kyun’. It (de)activates my brain and leads me to a trance state :P

♪♪ ♪♪ Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na phone pe bulaoge..
Na shaam ki karaari chai, labon se yun pilaoge..
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na din dhale sataoge..
Na raat ki nashili bye, se neendh mein jagaoge..

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai..
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai..
Gaye tum gaye hum, tham gaye har baat baaki hai
Gaye kyun toh, jiyein kyun.
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na dooriyaan dhikhaoge..
Na thaam ke woh josh mein yun hosh se udaoge..
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na jhoot se sunaoge..
Na rooth ke sihane mein, remote ko chupaoge..
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai
Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye, har baat baaki hai

Gaye kyun toh, jiyein kyun. ♪♪ ♪♪

Without The Invisible Wand - An Eulogy

My first stories, my first songs, the first words I said, the first alphabets I formulated.. she taught me all. And with it, she imparted to me several minuscule lessons of life, admonitions of the dark, appreciation of the light and recognition of the disparity between them.

But.. she wasn’t there when I got my first degree or when I got my first job. And she won’t be there when I get my PhD or when I win my first award. Neither would she be there when I get married or have my first child… well not physically at least. But in spirit, she looks upon me and shares every trivial achievement of my life.

In every milestone of my life, I see her in the crowd. In my dark times, I see her in the shadows. And in a crisis, I hear her voice, leading me out of it. When she left us, I did not cry. I did not feel her absence. I did not feel the void. In my mind I always envisaged her as I had always seen her.. powerful. In my heart I always felt her presence.

She was the first representation of a Monarchy I apprehended. With an invisible wand she governed her dominion with an almost-dictator-like regimen for over half a century. And she harboured an unbiased and unanimous affection for all her subjects. But she fostered each one as they were worthy of. And ever since I can recollect, I blissfully wallowed in the status of ‘The Cherry On Top’. She was the first Visionary I met, who always looked at the big picture, at the greater good, rather than the instantaneous joy ride or a sweet treat. She was the first moral of Justice I learnt. In my eyes she was always as fair as practically possible to everyone in one way or the other. Justice is not only blind itself but also invisible sometimes. She was the first embodiment of Perfection I witnessed. The spread of her sheet.. or the alignment of her jars, the pleats of her Saree.. or the braids in her hair, her hospitality.. or even her hostility.. marked perfection in highlighted bold letters.

She was the first epitome of Rationality and Acumen I discerned. Amidst a crisis, when all the young and dynamic lot gave in to utter desperation, she was always calm and collected. With her apparent phlegmatic approach she always held the boat afloat. She was the first lesson of Independence I imbibed. In the phase of life when all her contemporaries had given in either to younger generations or to modern day machines, with a little difficulty she skilfully managed her everyday regime, well with the occasional exception of a glass of water. She was the first paragon of Determination that I perceived. The bane of age and deteriorating physical state could never dwindle her avidity or diligence. Fixing-up things here and there around the house.. to erecting a fairly huge edifice in the middle of nowhere.. she did it all.. when and how she wanted to. At times, she was a little too headstrong and persistent. And some of her ventures may have seemed pretty irrational and futile, but in a free world, those were her choices.

They say there are some people who shine like a Star to impart light to the world. But there are also others who like the Earth, bounty and flourishing, yet unkempt and downtrodden, lay beneath our feet to provide hearth for us to grow and flourish. And such was my Grandmother, teaching the lessons of life to many, yet inconspicuous and unappreciated.

I know a thousand hands may stand up to disagree, but that is her in my eyes.

And  ‘To Be Great is To Be Misunderstood.’ (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

I might be naïve, prejudiced or blinded in love, but I am sure that nothing I have said here is untrue.  

“In retrospection, I am grateful to you for pulling up my flat and stubby Nose every second when I was little, and today if it stands sharp and smooth its only because of you and your unmatched efforts. And I regret not expressing myself when I could, for I had no clue Time would fall short.”

In every failure, in every success.. in light, in darkness.. in joy, in sadness.. I shall always remember you fondly.

To come and go.. is Life. But to live in one’s heart forever.. is Love.

Status Quo - Day #16

Like my life, my relationship is neither black nor white. It isn’t the gray in between either. It is a vibrant spectrum of varied colours. Sometimes its glowing red like the morning sun and sometimes its dark magenta like flowing blood. Sometimes its clear blue like the sky and sometimes its black and gray like a foggy night :)

Shuffle Up - Day #15

Lets see what my Music has to say about Me…

_*   Just The Way U Are  – Bruno Mars

_*   Jalpari (Coke Studio Version)

_*  You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

_*  Lips Of An Angel – Hinder

_*  Faraway – Nicleback

_*  Man Lafanga

_*  Somebody’s Me – Enrique Iglesias

_*  Dooriyan Bhi Hain Zaroori

_*  Sun Is Up – Inna

_*  Berlin City Girl – Culcha Candela

_*  Bin Tere

_*  Telephone – Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce

_*  Shewolf  - Shakira

_*  Chandni Raatein

_*  You Are The Only Exception – Paramore

PS: I know I had wandered off.. caught up in work.. and didn’t keep my promise..  But life is all about getting through broken promises and shattered hearts..

What matters is that now I am back again .. (My days are longer than any of yours :P )