Forbidden Love

Why is it the ‘forbidden fruit’ that tempts my heart the most? Psychologically it can be explained.. but I don’t need an explanation. Maybe I need an intellectual intervention, where my brain smacks my heart and sets it right. Unfortunately, I am much of a biologist to realise that the heart is only a pseudo star-crossed scapegoat defamed invariably over time for actions never done. While in reality the evil-brain and its conniving partners in crime, the wretched hormones and neurotransmitters, drive the whole forbidden-craze enchilada. The brain is the real puppet master, the real brains behind this entire vendetta. But whom do I delegate to smack my delirious, impetuous and whimsical brain into place. So the question actually is why is it the ‘forbidden fruit’ that tempts my brain the most? Why is it that I can’t take my mind off it? Why is it that my mind hankers for what I can’t see.. what I can’t touch?

Right now.. I really really and really want a JD. And ‘right now’ is the only only and only time when I can’t have it. All these days when it was sitting right there in the corner of my room, staring me in the eye, I ignored it and took it for granted.

And yeah, you, with the pretty little Bailey’s bottle in your hand don’t mock me and point it at the webcam. As it is.. fate already mocks me. 

PS: As you may notice this is all about the ‘Forbidden’ part of the title and the ‘Love’ part was just to seek some inquisitive attention. Now perhaps I am getting ASB issues too along with other mental conditions :P

The Walk Of Shame

One fine evening, Lisa met her ‘prince’.

Honest expression of love, was his evince.

He descended at her door-step, like a divine sign.

In his black shiny car,

With chocolates, flowers and wine.

Extravaganza at it’s best.

Alluring eyes, charming smile,

One-of-a-kind conquest.

Food, violins and a velvet casket.

Embellished with a brimming pocket.

A common friend had set them up.

It was just a first date, she better buckle-up.

Blind date, she thought ‘O, What The Hell’

You never know,

It might just cast the spell.

She reckoned he too shared her zeal.

Thus when it was time to

Kiss goodbye or seal the deal,

‘The rules of the game’ were put on amend.

As the eventful evening came to an end.

One fine evening, Lisa met her ‘prince’.

Next morning,

 He wrecked and savagely frayed her heart,

At her inanity, she could only curse and wince,

Gather her clothes and head towards the start.

Smeared mascara and ruffled hair.

The ‘prince’ missed in his manly flare,

While she let herself out with a delusive smile.

A little drop of tear in the corner of her eye.

As she walked home in that dreary morning light,

She thought to herself, on her morbid plight,

‘I sought Love, oh I am so lame’

‘My name will go down the fool’s hall of fame’

‘Love is nothing but a deceitful name’

‘And I suck at this pathetic game’

‘Thus here I am, walking

The Walk of Shame.’

Image Courtesy: Deviant Art & The Shadow Girl

Impulsive??.. Or Insane??

Have you ever felt an impulsive force throbbing through your veins, a force that harbors the power to make you do anything? Have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff and felt fear being overtaken by a rush of adrenalin, a rush that makes you want to jump off just to feel the wind hiss in your ears? Have you ever driven your bike so fast that you could see nothing at all but a whirl of blur all around you, and watery-eyed you gloat at your luck?

Today, just leaning on my mundane office desk or laying on my morose bed, I feel something akin. There is a constitutively active smirk on my face and a self-threatening menace in my eyes. There is not a single adjective in the English dictionary that can describe how I exactly feel ‘just about now’.  Lately my mood and state of mind have been as unpredictable and varied as the American weather (so that explains the just-about-now comment).

I feel like a soldier to going to his first battle, or a young bird dashing for its first flight, or when the first time you ride your bicycle all by yourself. I know I am gonna crash into the ground any minute and send mud soaring at your faces (my pretty onlookers :P), but I don’t give a rat’s a**. So for now, I have braced myself and I am soaring high.. yes high above the clouds (and no I am not high on anything :P)

All I care about right now, is my flight. And it is like I have set off a time bomb in my head, which keeps on ticking endlessly. I have unharnessed an eternal wait. A wait at the end of which I silently smile to myself, but then post-smile, the wait starts yet again. Not the anxious wait, but a bittersweet sensation in my gut. Like when you wake up in the morning few minutes before you should, and lay in your bed, eyes closed, hearing the soft rhythm of the ticking clock and waiting for the alarm to shatter the halcyon morning lull. And yeah.. I feel baby butterflies forming in my stomach every now and then.

Refreshing web-pages a thousand times in a minute, checking emails every minute, attacking the keyboard to ramble on about random stuff like this and chewing my pen to its death.. What’s up with the world? Is it just me.. or is the whole world spinning out of control? Am I just being impulsive or am I insane..?

And yeah.. I AM actually pretty high on the song ‘Jiye Kyun’. It (de)activates my brain and leads me to a trance state :P

♪♪ ♪♪ Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na phone pe bulaoge..
Na shaam ki karaari chai, labon se yun pilaoge..
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na din dhale sataoge..
Na raat ki nashili bye, se neendh mein jagaoge..

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai..
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai..
Gaye tum gaye hum, tham gaye har baat baaki hai
Gaye kyun toh, jiyein kyun.
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na dooriyaan dhikhaoge..
Na thaam ke woh josh mein yun hosh se udaoge..
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na jhoot se sunaoge..
Na rooth ke sihane mein, remote ko chupaoge..
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai
Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye, har baat baaki hai

Gaye kyun toh, jiyein kyun. ♪♪ ♪♪