Impulsive??.. Or Insane??

Have you ever felt an impulsive force throbbing through your veins, a force that harbors the power to make you do anything? Have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff and felt fear being overtaken by a rush of adrenalin, a rush that makes you want to jump off just to feel the wind hiss in your ears? Have you ever driven your bike so fast that you could see nothing at all but a whirl of blur all around you, and watery-eyed you gloat at your luck?

Today, just leaning on my mundane office desk or laying on my morose bed, I feel something akin. There is a constitutively active smirk on my face and a self-threatening menace in my eyes. There is not a single adjective in the English dictionary that can describe how I exactly feel ‘just about now’.  Lately my mood and state of mind have been as unpredictable and varied as the American weather (so that explains the just-about-now comment).

I feel like a soldier to going to his first battle, or a young bird dashing for its first flight, or when the first time you ride your bicycle all by yourself. I know I am gonna crash into the ground any minute and send mud soaring at your faces (my pretty onlookers :P), but I don’t give a rat’s a**. So for now, I have braced myself and I am soaring high.. yes high above the clouds (and no I am not high on anything :P)

All I care about right now, is my flight. And it is like I have set off a time bomb in my head, which keeps on ticking endlessly. I have unharnessed an eternal wait. A wait at the end of which I silently smile to myself, but then post-smile, the wait starts yet again. Not the anxious wait, but a bittersweet sensation in my gut. Like when you wake up in the morning few minutes before you should, and lay in your bed, eyes closed, hearing the soft rhythm of the ticking clock and waiting for the alarm to shatter the halcyon morning lull. And yeah.. I feel baby butterflies forming in my stomach every now and then.

Refreshing web-pages a thousand times in a minute, checking emails every minute, attacking the keyboard to ramble on about random stuff like this and chewing my pen to its death.. What’s up with the world? Is it just me.. or is the whole world spinning out of control? Am I just being impulsive or am I insane..?

And yeah.. I AM actually pretty high on the song ‘Jiye Kyun’. It (de)activates my brain and leads me to a trance state :P

♪♪ ♪♪ Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na phone pe bulaoge..
Na shaam ki karaari chai, labon se yun pilaoge..
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na din dhale sataoge..
Na raat ki nashili bye, se neendh mein jagaoge..

Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai..
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai..
Gaye tum gaye hum, tham gaye har baat baaki hai
Gaye kyun toh, jiyein kyun.
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na dooriyaan dhikhaoge..
Na thaam ke woh josh mein yun hosh se udaoge..
Na aaye ho, na aaoge, na jhoot se sunaoge..
Na rooth ke sihane mein, remote ko chupaoge..
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, yeh raat baaki hai
Gaye tum gaye ho kyun, saath baaki hai
Gaye tum gaye hum tham gaye, har baat baaki hai

Gaye kyun toh, jiyein kyun. ♪♪ ♪♪